In my fantasies, if I could do it again, I'd let him lie on the floor a lot more, maybe with a few scattered objects around him, and wait. I don't understand how I am supposed to pay attention to her constantly, during her waking hours. Don't worry, in a month or so, your child will be completely obsessed with her playmat. Been there! Don't stress out about it. Even the books will tell you that babies need time to figure stuff out on their own and chill out (well, they probably don't say ''chill out.''). As they can sit up more they can sit in a high chair or something. anon, I completely symphathize! My son is very good at letting me know (now that he is 18months) when he actually needs my attention, and then I give him all the hugs and kisses he can stand. He's much older now and a very happy, well-adjusted child who can entertain himself easily. My daughter was definitely ''easy'' for the first 3-4 months. My boy loved the playmat with arches and hanging toys, and was always precocious in his motor development. Holly, I think two weeks is WAY too young to be thinking about training your baby for your return to work. It will pop out. Right now, your baby needs you and you still need to have a life so you have something left to give. Need help? I think this is about the fact that he has always been talked to so much. Working Mom. Especially if you were a stay at home mom and especially if you worked or studied from home. Before I had my daughter my son and I would play board games, hide and seek, arts and crafts etc. I study everytime she falls asleep. To whatever extent your body can take it, put the baby in a sling or carrier and go about your business. This video is unavailable. Maybe you just have an easy baby, too! Sounds like you're doing fine! But sometimes people have to pee or drive or go to class. What are the signal your children give you for not getting enough attention? I carried my daughter a lot at your son's age; I'd create errands to run, to occupy our time--she didn't need to be entertained in the car (we also have a mirror in the backseat she can look into), and once we arrived at our destination, I would carry her in the Bjorn. Enjoy your good fortune. You can also try putting him under a mobile--that would keep mine happy for at least 20 minutes, long enough to brush my teeth and get dressed. em, Newborns are just absorbing the world--looking and listening mostly. At 2 months old, there isn't a lot she can do back at you. Giving baby enough attention: I always give my baby kisses and cuddles but sometimes I feel guilty when he's in his bouncer with toys or watching tv when im doing the house work that I'm ignoring him or not giving him enough attention? For the time being, you can carry your baby around in a sling or baby-bjorn type carrier as you go about your business. When it's appropriate, start tummy time, use a play mat/gymini/toy hanging doo-dad that she can stare at or kick at, and her googly-eyed staring off into space days are done. As you experiment, you'll find what works for the two of you. Good luck. She seems too young to play with and none of the bright rattles or stuffed animals seem to interest her. If you can put her under the little exercise mat and half play while you talk on the phone or do study, do that. Here\x92s what I have learned: If she is bored she will let you know. lucky you! It is now that she is more interactive and demanding that I struggle with time management! She is hardly out of the womb, and needs to be treated as though she is still there. It sounds like your baby is letting you know what she wants. Anything I can do to get him to like me to? Be sure at least some of your ''chill out'' time is spent with OTHER PEOPLE you love (with or without your baby). You are not doing anything wrong by being able to get things done with a 2 month old. I also recommend you come up with a list of things to do with Baby not all of which involve your constant interaction ... for example, placing the baby on a gymmat and letting them look at the playthings. I realize that's fantasy, and that you're in the hardcore reality of needing to cook dinner. All of the experts say to give your baby quiet time to just absorb and watch. She's completely content to watch my hands on the keyboard and the trees moving in the wind outside the window for at least a little while, and when she gets tired of that I'll shift her position in the sling and nurse her or go for a little walk.) You have to find a balance of giving your baby plenty of touch and interaction, but also staying sane. Liz, Well, I don't interact with my 4-month-old whenever he's awake, no way! They don't last long. We were amazed that she could ''play'' at two weeks old! Take him for stroller rides (good excercise), Get a mobile, he can spend some time under that. If your baby lets you get work done, congratulations! Second of all, the whole thing about interacting with your children is to make sure parents don't plop their kid in front of baby einstein for 800 hours a day. You can find out more about them by logging onto www.gymboree.com. 3. that she wouldn't otherwise have a good view of, and a developmentally advantageous physical ''workout'' (learning to balance while you move). I used it in the bathroom when I took showers, in the kitchen when I cooked. Do watch a movie and have time to yourself; it's important for your sanity. • Tax ID: 46-4347971, About BPN • Contact BPN • Credits • Terms of Use, Connecting Bay Area families online since 1993, Daycares & Preschools with Current Openings, Parent Classes, Workshops & Groups with Openings, Advice about Classes, Camps, Groups, & Tutors. Have fun! My older one is now almost 3, and her language skills exceed many older kids. I felt the same way when my son was two months old....It is great to spend time with them, get them out, talk to them, but at two months there is a lot of chill time. I love him so much, he is truly like my own child. They don\x92t really \x93play\x94 in the usual sense, and tire quickly, as you said. by Respectful Parenting published on 2016-07-12T15:53:45Z. ''They're so clingey! And don't worry -- the need to suck does eventually go away! You have an easy baby. Sincrely, Deena. I recommend a reference book called ''Baby Play'' put out by Gymboree. (Don't put it up on a table though...my neighbor's child fell off the table in a bouncy chair.) Yours is the cutest post ever. Body contact will do both of you a lot of good, you will respond with more oxytocin. One thing our kids absolutely love: we have a mobile with plastic cards with simple drawings in black, white, red, and some other colors on them. We found our daughter would need to suck on our index fingers for up to 5 or 6 minutes at a time in order to soothe her need. Frankly i think that constantly entertaining your baby means that he/she will nevrbe able to entertain herself! They answer some fan emails regarding; how to make sure your partner doesn't feel neglected, suggestions on how to make time for your spouse, and a … Still don't. (If you're studying, the baby may not be sufficiently entertained or jiggled, however.) 2-month-old babies are boring. anon, Some new moms want nothing else than to hold and coo at their new babies. If she'll watch a little Baby Einstein(no more than half an hour a day), let her. I also put him in a bouncy seat or baby swing while I worked sometimes. Babies can look at a pattern on the wall or a plant and study it like a Derrida text. Enjoy! I'd come by sometimes, but he was quite happy on his own for a while. Get as much done as you can right now while you have the chance. During all of these things, I would make eye contact whenever possible. Whatever you do, don't put her in front of the TV. Keeping score of how much you are giving is a recipe for problems. Tummy play is very important for developing your babies trunk strength too, so you both win! My baby is the most independant, mild, active and good-mannered I have EVER met. Don't use a pacifier all the time (you want her to learn not to need to suck all the time)...but do use it when you need peace. Favourite answer. One has always been much more attention- seeking than the other. Occupying 2-week-old during her awake hours. To a child, attention is attention, regardless of … Get one that has a toy bar, play music for her on the radio, etc. Shocking, I know. He spends a lot of his time drawing, building Lego, watching tv and playing video games (only on weekends) all alone. But to the extent you can, I encourage you to experiment with letting your baby work through boredom and frustration...in little doses, and then in growing doses. Heather. ''This one is for the water. Just do what comes naturally and you will give your baby what she needs. Your baby needs time to just ''be'' and so do you. Just be sure you respond when she tries to engage you, whether by crying or just by gurgling or waving at you, and that in fact she does eat and sleep enough! Your baby wants to be with YOU and play with YOU! Hi - You're not a jerk. Don\x92t worry- you\x92re doing great. That way, you can just go about your business and she gets lots of social interaction opportunities (because she's closer to adult face level, rather than at feet or knees as she would be in a bouncer or stroller) and exposure to lots of different things (books, food preparation, etc.) Miserable mothers do not usually have happy kids. She's been asleep for several hours and is now ready to be awake for a while. your baby will tell you if she's bored! This keeps the baby ''entertained'' and close and warm. You don't have to necessarily interact with her, at least not actively, because she is taking in everything that you are doing as she sits on your chest and is totally comforted by your presence. ALso, when I need to cook or my back is sore, I put the baby in a bouncy seat right near where I am and give him periodic attention while doing my other activities. Is your network connection unstable or browser outdated? After my second baby, Bharat was cranky as he felt I wasn’t giving him enough attention: Esha Deol If I had a magic potion that would stop all our babies from growing up, I’d use it in a heartbeat, writes Esha in her book . Good luck -- when I get bored, I remember that this is a very brief time in life and it will be gone befoe we know it. I am a psychotherapist who specializes in post-partum adjustment including depression and anxiety, and balancing work & family life. Am I Giving My Baby Enough Attention? (I personally hate the one that Dr Sears recommends - I need something that distributes the weight on both shoulders.) You do not need to ''entertain'' or ''stimulate'' your baby. You in particular because you've got to recharge your batteries so you're the best you can be when you are interacting. I did not always talk to him or play with him. Always asked for pictures and videos etcI feel my sister isn’t like that with my baby. I think it's good to give them time to look around. What they do is wear their baby (Baby Bjorn not required). Don\x92t worry about needing to do \x93baby activities\x94 \x96 there will be plenty of time for that. It will pop out. All the stimulation they need is in an ordinary home or on an ordinary walk down the street. Could you be having a post-partum depression? Channah. I do bond with him during breastfeeding and during diaper changing. She'll get more interesting in a month or two, and no one, absolutely no one, spends all their time staring at and playing with a baby. She doesn't care what it's about - you dont need to talk to her about teddy bears and breatsmilk. mellow mom, Don't worry! Try taking your baby around the house and showing her different things - this works well. I would sit in front of him and pay bills, narrating the whole thing. And sometimes I want to chill out and watch a movie to unwind...if shes awake, am I a jerk for ignoring her? I keep reading that I should talk to and play with and hold my child every chance I get. (My own 3-month-old is sitting in my lap, in a sling, as I write this. Even going outside for some leaf or tree looking was helpful. Perhaps the stories you have read about babies that don't let their parents get anything done are older, more active (and interactive) babes or are colicky. Likewise, get out of the house EVERY DAY, even on your non- school days, even for just a few minutes. She can't do much of anything on her own yet and it gets old doing the same things over and over and talking to her, and her googling back at me. This way, she was near my body and heart (literally & figuratively), she heard my voice, could see my face, and watch whatever I was doing from her safe, cozy, contained spot. i have a 4 month baby girl who i love to bits but im feeling really unwell at the moment and weak (doctor says its because ive lost loads of weight due to breastfeeding) i play with her and hold her but as soon as i put her down she screams, i just dont have the energy to hold her constantly. This does not prove that one type of mom loves her baby any more or any less than another type of mom. Harmony is such an easy baby she only cries if she really needs something and then stops. 2 thoughts on “5 Signs Your Child is Not Getting Enough Attention From You” Mary. If she didn't want to be held in that way, I could put her on my lap or on the floor, for her variety as well as mine. The newborn frustrations will seem like ages ago. Am I Giving My Baby Enough Attention? It\x92s been a few days since your post, but I couldn\x92t stop thinking about it and had to reply, as someone who has been through 2 newborns, had a lot of the same emotions you are having. I am not spending nearly as much time with him, just holding and talking with him, as I did with my first. I have read on here that there is no way you can get any work done from home with an infant. Happy mom=happy baby Anon, Don't worry. I have a 10-month-old and an almost 4-year-old. Everyone says how well behaved he is, and I think the alone time is part of that. All you have to do, in my experience, is let her know that you are doing that! --miss being able to watch t.v. while holding the baby. Other moms are good to hang out with, for so many reasons! You should give them one or two tummy time sessions for a few minutes a day. Enjoy the time she is giving you now--it may not last! Also, my baby liked listening to the radio and looking at mobiles. Until the kid could roll over, that changing table was his heaven, staring at the pictures. Try to lower your expectations of the people who constantly let you down and don't give you the attention you desire. Give her some tummy time too while she is awake. You will put it back. I was not taking constant care of him, but when I was with him, I was ther completely, and forgot all about my research! Also, regarding the sucking, many people don't know (we didn't) that all babies really need to exhaust their sucking reflex this means being able to suck on something quite a lot other than nursing. They won't play by themselves! I wonder how much experience you've had with infants prior to having your own? Babies need positive attention when they experience feelings. Share. She may fall asleep, especially if you nurse her and/or do a lot of walking, but even if she stays awake, just being close to you and observing the world is plenty of stimulation for a young baby. I nursed a million times a day but I did not hold her when she was happy on her own. I am a new mom and my two week old has two stretches lasting 1- 2 hours of being wide awake. Categories child development, Parenting Tags child, not enough attention, signs Post navigation. She'll feel safe and cozy with mommy. Busy Mom, I am a PhD student and a stay at home mom with an one year old child. Children benefit tremendously from the language learning that happens if you talk to your child about everything that is going on around them. Get a sling and at least have her snuggled up to you while you work. When a new baby joins the family it’s unrealistic to expect that you’ll have the exact amount of time to share with each child. pinkglitter80 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:52:27. The infants amount of dependency, constant need for care and attention, and your lack of sleep can make it extremely stressful. And guess what? Lastly, you may be interested in the book, ''Baby Play'' by Gymboree, which suggests interactive games for babies from birth to 1 year. Carry her alot. Instead, an alternative is to play “all out” and serve one another. What I would do is put the baby in the bouncy chair facing me, so she could watch me watch the movie. Parents forget the boring stage usually because they are so tired, and is so short anyway. Talk to her about what you are studying. As much of a burden as this can be, you should just give it some time before you go into full panic mode. But just be aware that 5 years from now, you might have a more independant child than you would have had otherwise, if you let her play on her own for periods of time every day. )or a bjorn and wear her around the house, put her in a swing for some stimulation while you work. Your child already has a head start with you as a mom. Sometimes I just have to set them down and do something else or I will go crazy, and what kind of mother would I be to them then? Her other favourite 4 month old ! You can also prop the baby up on some rolled towels or blankets and put some toys in front for him to look at and practice reaching for and touching. I feel guilty not paying attention to her. When my son was that age, he is now 20 months, I would do a lot of my regular business but engage him in it while he was sitting in a swing, laying on the ground, or I would pull him around from room to room on pillows and blankets in a laundry basket! Very young babies mainly need to sleep, eat, and poop. The girl is content to play independently without much interaction or feedback, and the mom is worried that she may not be giving her enough attention. Congratulations! Each page shows an age- appropriate activity. Babies: Positive attention is more than just smiling when your baby pleases you. It briefly explains what babies need from a developmental perspective. The first few months is extremely hard on any couple, much less on any individual woman who already has her hands full with school. Babies are different. Trish, Two books which I've found to be great resources during my son's first year are ''WonderPlay'' (Reitzes & Teitelman) and ''Baby Games'' (Martin), both of which offer tons of ideas for games and activities with your child at different stages of development. Your child will develop relatively soon, so these quiet, immobile (boring) days of her face and eyes being a blank slate, staring seemingly aimlessly, will end. So about 3-4 days a week I dont think we even leave the house. Dr. Sears claims that babywearing is great stimulation both mentally and physically. The attachment parenting people recommend ''wearing'' the baby as much as possible. My baby is two months old now. If you don't already have one, get a gymini (always available used on the BPN marketplace) so she can lie on her back and look at and reach for the toys. I think that a lot of the advice you mention refers to older babies. I thought I would never need daycare because she was SO easy I could just work while she watched her toys dangle in front of her! I took seriously my responsibility to do everything and interact with my kid .... here's the thing I learned. One thing you could do is wear your baby in a baby carrier (I love the Ergo carrier) while you study or do something else. Everyone was amazed that I could get any work done, but I would let him play by himself for a half hour at a time, especially once he could sit up. Also different babies like/need different things. Having emotional and tangible support is crucial to support you and help ease you into this fulltime, lifetime responsibility. It's just life. Give it time: Let's face it: The world doesn't revolve around you. This can be a tough age until baby gets more mobile and can entertain herself with toys -- she's pretty young for that yet. Survived Infancy, I would say: enjoy these first few months when it is still possible to be productive with your baby around. You need to talk to and play with your baby often.This is how babies learn.Cuddle and nurture your baby.There's no need to feel guilty for taking a moment for yourself when the baby's sleeping (we all do it)- just make sure the baby's needs are met.They get more interesting as the months go by! Whether or not they should be allowed to cry. I was in school and the primary care giver for my son when he was an infant, just taking one class like you. are we okay? I have a 5 month old, who is my second, and man! anonymous, Yes, this is a difficult time to be alone with a baby, but you do need to hold her a lot.